It’s almost like everytime things in my life are good, i get fucked over really bad in like the next week. People always say that you control your happiness..I definitely disagree. When your bestfriend of 12 years ignores you all summer, you tend not to be happy. It’s just like I kept giving myself hope. I kept telling myself that she was just busy, she’ll text back later..or shes at work, she can’t talk..or shes with her boyfriend, maybe they’re on a date. but nothing. All summer I tried, and nothing. And I guess our run is over. And pain is conquering my whole body. My heart hurts, I’ve lost a dear friend..without even an explanation, but I guess life isn’t fair, right? That’s how everyone else has left, unexplained. I think the worst part of the whole thing, is that I almost feel used, but really just stupid. Because I was there whenever she needed me..I supported her in everything she did..I was always the one who made plans around her schedule..always the one who made sure to catch up and not drift. It almost seems like she never even really cared. When we we’re little, everyone would make fun of her, she was weird, but SHE WAS MY BESTFRIEND, so I always stood up for her and brought her alone when I went off with other friends. I always had her back, even though half the time she was being ridiculous. It’s like now that she has lots of new friends that she won’t stand up for me now and stick by my side, it’s like I’m not good enough. I’m just so hurt right now. How can someone just walk out of your life when they’ve been around for that long? You would think I would’ve really fucked something up, right? Well I wish I knew why I was ignored. I mean, I’ll point it out myself, I’m a pessimistic, fatass, that has a lot of family issues, I don’t have a job, or a license, and I pretty much suck at sports, but I am not a bad friend. That’s about the only thing I can do right, so I don’t know what went wrong between her and I, but I’m going to try to be at peace with it BECAUSE NO, I WILL NEVER HATE HER BECAUSE SHE WAS A REALLY AWESOME FRIEND FOR A LONG TIME AND THAT’S NOT SOMETHING YOU JUST FORGET ABOUT.