I haven’t vented on here in a long time because I didn’t want to annoy any of my followers, but I guess if you don’t want to see these on your feed, then you should just unfollow. I’ve been keeping so much bottled up these past months. I’m just so annoyed with myself. I find flaws in everything and everyone and I wish I could just be happy and see the best in everything. I hate myself for hating so many things and I can understand now why I’ve lost so many friends. I’m not pleasant to be around. I went from having 3 groups of friends to having 3 friends and that breaks my heart everyday. I’m socially awkward now and I just don’t even know how to be myself because I don’t even have a personality anymore. I’m a girl that smiles at people that could give a fuck less about her. I just want to have friends again and be happy. Nothing makes me happy anymore. I just fake happiness. I haven’t been happy in so long. Being with Jake used to take my mind off things, but today he asked me to prom, and I’m still sitting alone in my room holding back my tears. I just wish I knew why I’m always so sad. I’m at the point where I don’t even talk to anyone about it anymore because I’m sure their sick of hearing it. I feel like if I ended everything right now, there would be like 5 people that would care and after 2 weeks everyone would just forget about me again. I don’t have a purpose. I don’t have any reason to keep pushing. I can’t just do this because I don’t want to hurt a few people. I can’t keep staying up all night crying for no reason. I can’t do it anymore. I hate myself.